check ignition and may God's love be with you

haley

anthrophile

i really like binary stars and flowers

using nothing more than newton’s laws of gravitation, we astronomers can confidently predict that several billion years from now our home galaxy, the milky way, will merge with our neighbouring galaxy, andromeda. because the distances between the stars are so great compared to their sizes, few if any stars in either galaxy will actually collide.
any life on the worlds of that far off future should be safe, but they will be treated to an amazing billion-year-long lightshow.
a dance of a half a trillion stars, to music first heard on one little world, by a man who had but one true friend.

porrimscondomstash:

When you fuck something up first thing in the morning

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beeblejuice:

son *puts a hand on your shoulder* son sometimes *puts another hand on your shoulder* Son sometimes things are *puts another hand on your shoulder* son you just gotta *puts another hand on your shoulder* son

well I’m at a job and I felt bad about forgetting the professor’s name until I realized he forgot to mention I didn’t need to come til 9:30 or so

megachikorita:

some kid in my class wrote an essay about how it never explicitly says Beowulf isn’t a robot

fill me in. tell me everything i missed.

kingcheddarxvii:

If someone says “I love u” and you say “I love u 2” back, make sure you add “no Bono” so they know you mean that you love them too, not just the legendary Irish rock band U2

megay:

HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS IN 3 EASY STEPS

STEP 1: purposefully bump into girl(make sure you are typing into your calculator while doing this)

STEP 2: say “im sorry. i didnt see you, i was taking inventory of all my lizards”

STEP 3: make sure she sees the number 42069666 on the screen

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